In celebration of my 100th post:
[Bridget blows into the unresponsive microphone, taps it tentatively]
One, two. Ladies and Gentlemen... L- ladies and gentlemen.
[then throws fingers into the air and shouts:]
Oi! Oi! Sorry. The uh mike's not wo- working.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the launch of Kafka's Motorbike, 'the greatest book of our time."
[applause; Bridget notices Salman glowering]
Obviously, except for your books, Mr. Rushdie, which are also very good.
[applause; Bridget notices Jeffery]
Aaand Lord Archer. Yours... aren't... bad.... either.
Anyway, what I mean is..uh. Welcome ladies and gentlemen, thank you for coming to the launch of... one of the top *thirty* books of our time, anyway. At least.
And here to introduce it, heh, *properly* is the man we all call -
[Bridget's inner monologue offers its perspective]
[Bridget regains control]
Fitzherbert. Because that... is his name. Mr. Fitzherbert? Thank you!
[scattered applause; Mr. Fitzherbert takes the stage]
Fitzherbert: Thank you, Brenda. Just switch this on.
[turns on microphone, screechy feedback is heard throughout the entire hall]