... is James Blunt. Why on earth do you people like him? Especially you young women? Is it primarily because of his hideous anthem "You're Beautiful", which is blaring from every possible outlet in this city (and most others, I presume)? Yes, it is. I'm right, aren't I? It makes you all feel... special? I really can't understand how a voice like his (*pushes back bile*) is praised as so incredibly gifted. The man sounds like he's feigning opera with that warbly, high-pitched simpering. Hearing his music is like listening to fingernails being run repeatedly across the schoolroom chalkboard, enduring his hideous voice is like having a drill being inserted into my brain. And on top of that, it's as if someone is pouring acid into said hole in my head, effectively killing whatever tolerance I may have had for pop rock in the first place. And then it's as if someone has taken a butterknife, inefficiently sawed the top of my head open, and then stabbed my brain to mush. With the butterknife. The torture of his affected, cutesy style is like witnessing the end of all good music as we know it. If William Hung can sell CDs, it shouldn't surprise me that this off-putting hack can. He annoys me to no end, but am I alone in thinking this way? Is the universe just so taken with him that I'm the strange exception? Blunt indeed.
James: Please die. Or... um, die. Some combination of those two.
EDIT: Sorry, but this is wonderful. Exactly my point. But I'll shut up about Blunt now.